In Hearts and Minds

I've had strange dreams lately, I suppose. Today, I had a dream where I was sent back to Basic Training for some reason. It wasn't a "In the past" dream but instead, quite the opposite.

I didn't even have time to pack. I was simply sent there and I was under the impression that I'd be in the same squadron with the same training instructor like in my original journey. Instead it was a different squadron with an instructor that looked just like the Master Sergeant that I work for right now in the office.

At first I was like "I can do this again. I've done it before. But I'm A1C now so should I have stripes on my uniform or what? Why am I here?"

I kept questioning myself as if in disbelief as to why I was back here in Lackland. Then my instructor came out and we all lined up against the wall. He screamed right in my face and I simply froze in fear, right after I thought to myself- "This won't be a problem. Nothing to be afraid of."

It was unexpected. However that was the only time he yelled. I realized how casual it was compared to my first time there. The instructor was relaxed and I thought to myself- "This is ridiculous. Is this how people get trained here now?"

Then for some reason, I received a huge mini cannon from Dan as a package and I had no place to put it so the instructor offered to keep it in his room for the time being. Real strange. I just finished watching The Jackal again so I'm sure the memories of the weapon from there moved on to the dream.

Still. This was my second dream about going back to Bootcamp. I realize that I don't want to go there again for any reason.

In other news, I went to the Airman Leader class on saturday and passed the marching evaluation which is a good thing I guess. Will I get a rope now? We will see. Still no class or news about my clearance. I'm going to have to bother some people about it, I guess.

My movie critiques- they need to be more in-depth, I realize. So instead of putting them in this blog which is really meant to be about my thoughts about random things, I'm going to create a separate blog for them and maybe just get video capability so that I can make them visual. Eh who knows.

This past week has been miserable and I felt like I could hate half the world if not all of it. But things have calmed down. I've cooped myself in my tiny little room throughout the weekend and relaxed. I don't want to see anyone right now. I don't want to be on this base much longer. I came here to get a new job, learn it, and get out of training mode.

I want to be more stable. I want a place where I can settle down a bit, maybe explore the town without curfews or the knowledge that I'll be in one place for awhile and not always on the move. I need to be more organized and stop spending money on petty things. Maybe start saving for a car, who knows. Its almost my 1 year mark and I'm still in training status. It sucks.

Aside from that, I suppose things are fine.