Unappreciated.
Used.
I am simply a pawn on a chessmaster's board, forced to obey the rules of the game while others are free to move as they please. They don't see me. They don't know me. I simply stand in their shadows, doing their dirty work. And if I fail, that shadow slips for a moment and I am lost within their ungrateful gaze. I deserve that which others have obtained. I have been flawless in my capability. My precision has been perfect. I have been adamant in my duty and obedient.
And yet my sacrifices mean nothing. It has all been in vain. Why am I doing this? Why should I continue to suffer the morning? It could all go away into the abyss. I could be my own king- free and comfortable. And yet, I keep giving. I keep sacrificing. And it is all for naught.
Why?
Because I am me. I am who I am.
30 October 2008
23 August 2008
A Rant About Warcraft
I haven't posted much here lately which is a bit depressing seeing how I can't find the time to update this. So since I decided to post, lets talk about the most recent of things. The most exciting thing in my little conserved life has been the World of Warcraft expansion. Honestly, it looks amazing. The environment is astounding.
I don't have the Beta but I've played an Alpha Sandbox and explored quite a bit. The music is great, the detail to new content is fabulous- its a real change from Burning Crusade. I'd like to play again since I've kind of quit recently due to tremendous ordeals as well as the lack of interest to farm gold.
Which brings me to my next point. I did transfer servers almost a month ago, I suppose. I finally moved from Farstriders to Argent Dawn, without much research at all. I was told that it would have good RP and since everyone else was going there, I thought I'd get an early start. Thats when things got uncomfortable.
I didn't receive much detail in regards to who was coming along or what was happening. I spent hours researching interesting names for the guild and simply waited for everyone else. I soon realized that for a large server, there was hardly any RP and that I went from being the best paladin on the server to simply nothing- not even second rate. Quite humbling, actually.
I forgot to mention that I was just a tool in Heaven and Earth. I suppose I thought too highly of myself when I thought I was a key raider- attending every raid and giving up plenty of time only to be ignored when I announced my leaving. Hell, only one officer even spoke to me about it and when I left, there was pretty much no reaction. A year is a long time but apparently, I didn't fit into any of the cliches in the guild so nobody really cared, with the exception of a few people.
Now, when the charter was finally made, I was the first to sign it. I blindly agreed on everything- even when I thought the basis for the guild was stupid. So the guild name became Omerta, which reminded me of the guild Omerta back on Cenarion Circle (Won't get into that.)
So all my work into finding a decent name went to hell since some generic boring name with no history or value was decided on instead. For ranks, the old PvP titles were used. I personally found those titles to simply suck so that was another demerit on my list. And to top it all off, I log in one day to find myself a 'Sergeant' while there are a bunch of officers who I don't even know.
That doesn't cut it for me. I know its a game but I didn't transfer for these reasons. I transferred because I didn't want to be a tool anymore. I wanted to roleplay and have fun. I wanted to hang out with Becca since the story between our characters was expanding.
Instead, I was lied to and used only to be shoved away. Once again, I am simply in the shadows of 'greater' men. I don't want this. I want to enjoy myself.
I continue to sacrifice for the people I like and in return, I feel devalued, pushed away, and simply betrayed. Maybe its time to finally let go.
And as I think that thought, my mind drifts to Azurio and I realize I'm just like him because letting go is almost next to impossible when you have almost nothing already. I let go now, and I won't know anyone anymore. I won't have anything left.
Its a sad inner life I live when it comes to the game. But when I only have about 4-5 hours of freetime a day with the exception of weekends, its really the only thing I can enjoy- and I'd really like to have fun again.
I don't have the Beta but I've played an Alpha Sandbox and explored quite a bit. The music is great, the detail to new content is fabulous- its a real change from Burning Crusade. I'd like to play again since I've kind of quit recently due to tremendous ordeals as well as the lack of interest to farm gold.
Which brings me to my next point. I did transfer servers almost a month ago, I suppose. I finally moved from Farstriders to Argent Dawn, without much research at all. I was told that it would have good RP and since everyone else was going there, I thought I'd get an early start. Thats when things got uncomfortable.
I didn't receive much detail in regards to who was coming along or what was happening. I spent hours researching interesting names for the guild and simply waited for everyone else. I soon realized that for a large server, there was hardly any RP and that I went from being the best paladin on the server to simply nothing- not even second rate. Quite humbling, actually.
I forgot to mention that I was just a tool in Heaven and Earth. I suppose I thought too highly of myself when I thought I was a key raider- attending every raid and giving up plenty of time only to be ignored when I announced my leaving. Hell, only one officer even spoke to me about it and when I left, there was pretty much no reaction. A year is a long time but apparently, I didn't fit into any of the cliches in the guild so nobody really cared, with the exception of a few people.
Now, when the charter was finally made, I was the first to sign it. I blindly agreed on everything- even when I thought the basis for the guild was stupid. So the guild name became Omerta, which reminded me of the guild Omerta back on Cenarion Circle (Won't get into that.)
So all my work into finding a decent name went to hell since some generic boring name with no history or value was decided on instead. For ranks, the old PvP titles were used. I personally found those titles to simply suck so that was another demerit on my list. And to top it all off, I log in one day to find myself a 'Sergeant' while there are a bunch of officers who I don't even know.
That doesn't cut it for me. I know its a game but I didn't transfer for these reasons. I transferred because I didn't want to be a tool anymore. I wanted to roleplay and have fun. I wanted to hang out with Becca since the story between our characters was expanding.
Instead, I was lied to and used only to be shoved away. Once again, I am simply in the shadows of 'greater' men. I don't want this. I want to enjoy myself.
I continue to sacrifice for the people I like and in return, I feel devalued, pushed away, and simply betrayed. Maybe its time to finally let go.
And as I think that thought, my mind drifts to Azurio and I realize I'm just like him because letting go is almost next to impossible when you have almost nothing already. I let go now, and I won't know anyone anymore. I won't have anything left.
Its a sad inner life I live when it comes to the game. But when I only have about 4-5 hours of freetime a day with the exception of weekends, its really the only thing I can enjoy- and I'd really like to have fun again.
08 June 2008
Hillary or Bust
Its pretty sad to see radical democrats demand that Hillary be the nominee or either vote for McCain or not vote at all. Just take a look at some of these comments from HillaryClinton.com
Its pretty silly. No, not even that. Ridiculous even. These people- these bigots will be destroying the country with their ignorance and pride. I am in no means a democrat but just seeing something like this makes me want to break things."No V.P. It would be a 'slap in the face' to Senator Clinton and ALL WOMEN EVERYWHERE!!!
Take it to the Convention. We will support you all the way!!""GO HILLARY!! TAKE IT TO THE CONVENTION!!"
" If Sen. Clinton stays in the race, I will donate as much as I can whenever I can, because I believe in her, we all do, we are no longer invisible."
"[Caucuses are] the worst process anyone has ever had to undergo. I live in Texas and we had to undergo the infamous "Texas Two-Step." It was such a farse and a waste of time. I have never been part of such a mess. [Caucuses] should be illegal. "
"I encourage every Hillary supporter to be patient, stay strong like our candidate and write her in come the general election."
"We will accept nothing less than Hillary as the President of the United States. We will unify behind Hillary, or unify behind McCain. We will not unify behind Obama. End of discussion."
"Please go to Denver and please do not concede or give up your delegates. You are the chosen one. The Lord will see you through if you stay the course."
"If you can not vote for Mccain, why not consider the third party candidate. Obama is not a real democrat. He has no ideology. In addition, he is not a gentleman. He isn't qualified in either ability or morality."
27 May 2008
In Hearts and Minds
I've had strange dreams lately, I suppose. Today, I had a dream where I was sent back to Basic Training for some reason. It wasn't a "In the past" dream but instead, quite the opposite.
I didn't even have time to pack. I was simply sent there and I was under the impression that I'd be in the same squadron with the same training instructor like in my original journey. Instead it was a different squadron with an instructor that looked just like the Master Sergeant that I work for right now in the office.
At first I was like "I can do this again. I've done it before. But I'm A1C now so should I have stripes on my uniform or what? Why am I here?"
I kept questioning myself as if in disbelief as to why I was back here in Lackland. Then my instructor came out and we all lined up against the wall. He screamed right in my face and I simply froze in fear, right after I thought to myself- "This won't be a problem. Nothing to be afraid of."
It was unexpected. However that was the only time he yelled. I realized how casual it was compared to my first time there. The instructor was relaxed and I thought to myself- "This is ridiculous. Is this how people get trained here now?"
Then for some reason, I received a huge mini cannon from Dan as a package and I had no place to put it so the instructor offered to keep it in his room for the time being. Real strange. I just finished watching The Jackal again so I'm sure the memories of the weapon from there moved on to the dream.
Still. This was my second dream about going back to Bootcamp. I realize that I don't want to go there again for any reason.
In other news, I went to the Airman Leader class on saturday and passed the marching evaluation which is a good thing I guess. Will I get a rope now? We will see. Still no class or news about my clearance. I'm going to have to bother some people about it, I guess.
My movie critiques- they need to be more in-depth, I realize. So instead of putting them in this blog which is really meant to be about my thoughts about random things, I'm going to create a separate blog for them and maybe just get video capability so that I can make them visual. Eh who knows.
This past week has been miserable and I felt like I could hate half the world if not all of it. But things have calmed down. I've cooped myself in my tiny little room throughout the weekend and relaxed. I don't want to see anyone right now. I don't want to be on this base much longer. I came here to get a new job, learn it, and get out of training mode.
I want to be more stable. I want a place where I can settle down a bit, maybe explore the town without curfews or the knowledge that I'll be in one place for awhile and not always on the move. I need to be more organized and stop spending money on petty things. Maybe start saving for a car, who knows. Its almost my 1 year mark and I'm still in training status. It sucks.
Aside from that, I suppose things are fine.
I didn't even have time to pack. I was simply sent there and I was under the impression that I'd be in the same squadron with the same training instructor like in my original journey. Instead it was a different squadron with an instructor that looked just like the Master Sergeant that I work for right now in the office.
At first I was like "I can do this again. I've done it before. But I'm A1C now so should I have stripes on my uniform or what? Why am I here?"
I kept questioning myself as if in disbelief as to why I was back here in Lackland. Then my instructor came out and we all lined up against the wall. He screamed right in my face and I simply froze in fear, right after I thought to myself- "This won't be a problem. Nothing to be afraid of."
It was unexpected. However that was the only time he yelled. I realized how casual it was compared to my first time there. The instructor was relaxed and I thought to myself- "This is ridiculous. Is this how people get trained here now?"
Then for some reason, I received a huge mini cannon from Dan as a package and I had no place to put it so the instructor offered to keep it in his room for the time being. Real strange. I just finished watching The Jackal again so I'm sure the memories of the weapon from there moved on to the dream.
Still. This was my second dream about going back to Bootcamp. I realize that I don't want to go there again for any reason.
In other news, I went to the Airman Leader class on saturday and passed the marching evaluation which is a good thing I guess. Will I get a rope now? We will see. Still no class or news about my clearance. I'm going to have to bother some people about it, I guess.
My movie critiques- they need to be more in-depth, I realize. So instead of putting them in this blog which is really meant to be about my thoughts about random things, I'm going to create a separate blog for them and maybe just get video capability so that I can make them visual. Eh who knows.
This past week has been miserable and I felt like I could hate half the world if not all of it. But things have calmed down. I've cooped myself in my tiny little room throughout the weekend and relaxed. I don't want to see anyone right now. I don't want to be on this base much longer. I came here to get a new job, learn it, and get out of training mode.
I want to be more stable. I want a place where I can settle down a bit, maybe explore the town without curfews or the knowledge that I'll be in one place for awhile and not always on the move. I need to be more organized and stop spending money on petty things. Maybe start saving for a car, who knows. Its almost my 1 year mark and I'm still in training status. It sucks.
Aside from that, I suppose things are fine.
11 May 2008
XXX
This movie sucked.
It sucked back when I watched it on release, and it sucks now when I watched it on DVD. Vin Diesel's bad ass character didn't cut it, the chick was annoying, the enemies were idiots and the plot was unoriginal.
Its typically James Bond for teenagers. Add a guy who is awesome at every sport, swears, has tattoos everywhere, and then some, and you're going to get a movie that was painful for me to watch. After an hour, I was struggling- I mean I was really struggling to continue watching this god awful movie. The last 30 minutes were ridiculously long. I was in pain.
I hear they came out with a sequel too later on. Of course, it was directed by the guy who made The Fast and the Furious. Is he in love with Vin Diesel or what? Whats up with him being in all these movies? The only good role he played was in Chronicles of Riddick but even then, he STILL had that same badass attitude.
Theres nothing new about this movie. If you want to waste some time watching a movie of people with bad accents, alot of techno display, fake looking weapons, and plain out horrible acting, this movie is for you. And no, I won't go see the sequel.
I give XXX a horrible score of 1 out of 5.
It sucked back when I watched it on release, and it sucks now when I watched it on DVD. Vin Diesel's bad ass character didn't cut it, the chick was annoying, the enemies were idiots and the plot was unoriginal.
Its typically James Bond for teenagers. Add a guy who is awesome at every sport, swears, has tattoos everywhere, and then some, and you're going to get a movie that was painful for me to watch. After an hour, I was struggling- I mean I was really struggling to continue watching this god awful movie. The last 30 minutes were ridiculously long. I was in pain.
I hear they came out with a sequel too later on. Of course, it was directed by the guy who made The Fast and the Furious. Is he in love with Vin Diesel or what? Whats up with him being in all these movies? The only good role he played was in Chronicles of Riddick but even then, he STILL had that same badass attitude.
Theres nothing new about this movie. If you want to waste some time watching a movie of people with bad accents, alot of techno display, fake looking weapons, and plain out horrible acting, this movie is for you. And no, I won't go see the sequel.
I give XXX a horrible score of 1 out of 5.
04 May 2008
Doom: The Movie
First off, I have to say- the Rock is an awesome actor. I loved him in The Rundown. Sure, hes got the bad ass gung-ho attitude and can kick ass by simply looking at someone. But really, he knows how to play a part.
When I first saw this movie, I will admit- I was as disappointed as the fans. The beginning was pretty good. I didn't beat Doom 3 yet when I first saw it but I saw enough of it to understand the difference. Hell (no pun intended), I could simply play the first Doom to realize the difference.
So whats the difference between the awesome series and the movie?
THERE AREN'T ANY DEMONS IN THE MOVIE!
If you're thinking "So what?", you ought to die right now. The series was all about demons, zombies, god damn monsters from hell. Whats the movie about? A lab on Mars being invaded by monsters- but not just any kind of monsters but infected humans! I mean seriously, what the hell? (Pun intended this time!)
They simply pulled the "Resident Evil card" for this movie. People are conducting experiments on humans. Humans turn into superhumans who go on a killing spree, choosing whether to infect this poor sob or not. Then the marines go in without reinforcements with orders to eliminate, contain, and retrieve specific date which of course creates the generic but highly loved, "We never knew these sort of experiments ever happened."
So basically almost everyone dies and Sarge (The Rock) decides to kill everyone in fear that they are infected. In the end, he gets pulled away by infected zombies while yelling, "I wasn't supposed to die!" I have to admit, thats pretty badass. If I was being pulled away, I'd be screaming like a girl.
The main character, John "The Reaper" (Played by Karl Urban) is forced to fight Sarge because Sarge is infected, killed everyone, and now wants to go to Earth. Well, thats a hell of a profile but lets have at it.
I won't go into detail but John becomes a superhuman himself by injecting C-24 into himself and because hes a good guy and all, he gets to stay normal and stuff. The next 5 minutes of the movie become FPS style as if you're in control, shooting shit up and even killing a Pinky Demon with a chainsaw. Its pretty cool and reminded me of Doom. However in the end (I seem to say that a lot as if everything is in the end) John fights Sarge hand to hand, superhuman to superhuman. Its pretty awesome but I'm wondering why he decided to drop his gun in the first place. Honor? Pfft, gimme a break. It was just flavor.
The best part of the movie was when Sarge comes out of a window saying "Semper Fi, motherfucker." I admit, I laughed.
So no demons, no hell, no actual original plot, no Cyberdemon, no signature based rocket launcher (even though there was a BFG, lamely named Bio Forced Gun even though Sarge calls it by its proper title), and not enough greatness that is Doom to make this movie live up to the game series.
It was entertaining, I'll give it that. But nothing special.
I give Doom an average score of 3 out of 5.
When I first saw this movie, I will admit- I was as disappointed as the fans. The beginning was pretty good. I didn't beat Doom 3 yet when I first saw it but I saw enough of it to understand the difference. Hell (no pun intended), I could simply play the first Doom to realize the difference.
So whats the difference between the awesome series and the movie?
THERE AREN'T ANY DEMONS IN THE MOVIE!
If you're thinking "So what?", you ought to die right now. The series was all about demons, zombies, god damn monsters from hell. Whats the movie about? A lab on Mars being invaded by monsters- but not just any kind of monsters but infected humans! I mean seriously, what the hell? (Pun intended this time!)
They simply pulled the "Resident Evil card" for this movie. People are conducting experiments on humans. Humans turn into superhumans who go on a killing spree, choosing whether to infect this poor sob or not. Then the marines go in without reinforcements with orders to eliminate, contain, and retrieve specific date which of course creates the generic but highly loved, "We never knew these sort of experiments ever happened."
So basically almost everyone dies and Sarge (The Rock) decides to kill everyone in fear that they are infected. In the end, he gets pulled away by infected zombies while yelling, "I wasn't supposed to die!" I have to admit, thats pretty badass. If I was being pulled away, I'd be screaming like a girl.
The main character, John "The Reaper" (Played by Karl Urban) is forced to fight Sarge because Sarge is infected, killed everyone, and now wants to go to Earth. Well, thats a hell of a profile but lets have at it.
I won't go into detail but John becomes a superhuman himself by injecting C-24 into himself and because hes a good guy and all, he gets to stay normal and stuff. The next 5 minutes of the movie become FPS style as if you're in control, shooting shit up and even killing a Pinky Demon with a chainsaw. Its pretty cool and reminded me of Doom. However in the end (I seem to say that a lot as if everything is in the end) John fights Sarge hand to hand, superhuman to superhuman. Its pretty awesome but I'm wondering why he decided to drop his gun in the first place. Honor? Pfft, gimme a break. It was just flavor.
The best part of the movie was when Sarge comes out of a window saying "Semper Fi, motherfucker." I admit, I laughed.
So no demons, no hell, no actual original plot, no Cyberdemon, no signature based rocket launcher (even though there was a BFG, lamely named Bio Forced Gun even though Sarge calls it by its proper title), and not enough greatness that is Doom to make this movie live up to the game series.
It was entertaining, I'll give it that. But nothing special.
I give Doom an average score of 3 out of 5.
14 April 2008
Blarg n' Crap
Yeah, I haven't posted in awhile. Don't blame me with my moving to Texas and all. I finally got my computer but internet is going to take awhile so till then, there won't be much action here.
On a friendlier note, I've been considering doing Youtube blog reviews instead of writing them out. Then I could include gameplay videos and everything.
But it would also take up more time and I'd need a camera and an editing program.
On second thought, I might just hold off on that for now.
Umm.. what else can I say to waste more space and make this look considerably exceptional...
I guess this is good enough. The military shells a house and the only casualty is a cat.
http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2008/04/13/national/main4011600.shtml?source=RSSattr=HOME_4011600
And idiot kids throwing butter knives at each other's heads.
http://www.kptv.com/news/15874196/detail.html
Gotta love the media.
On a friendlier note, I've been considering doing Youtube blog reviews instead of writing them out. Then I could include gameplay videos and everything.
But it would also take up more time and I'd need a camera and an editing program.
On second thought, I might just hold off on that for now.
Umm.. what else can I say to waste more space and make this look considerably exceptional...
I guess this is good enough. The military shells a house and the only casualty is a cat.
http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2008/04/13/national/main4011600.shtml?source=RSSattr=HOME_4011600
And idiot kids throwing butter knives at each other's heads.
http://www.kptv.com/news/15874196/detail.html
Gotta love the media.
19 March 2008
I Am Legend
Since I've acquired the asinine idea of reviewing sampled goods and whatnot, its time to talk about this movie starring Will Smith. Its my second viewing of it, this time at home.
My opinion on it hasn't changed. While this falls into the 'apocalyptic' genre of movies when the entire world is destroyed/infected/screwed, it has an individual feel unlike other movies that I've seen. However, it also feels too much like say.. Resident Evil with the whole mutation/zombie effect.
I liked the beginning. I liked how you didn't encounter the 'Darkseekers' till almost 30 minutes in. I really liked Samantha the dog. In my highly professional opinion, she should get the best actress award.
Will Smith played an excellent role as the overzealous Dr. Neville who refused to leave ground zero until he found a cure. My biggest gripe comes from the Darkseekers though. They don't make much sense. So lets talk about them.
There are plenty of questions still as well. What do they eat? Each other? If thats the case, as was hinted, they should not have a leader. There would be no way to control them, not even through brute strength, since they all have incredible attributes.
And why do they still have clothes? Obviously, it was required for the given movie rating, but this is a noteworthy nitpick in my books.
If they lost their abilities to be human in all ways, they should not be smart enough to move 'Fred' the dummy or even set a trap up the way Neville did. Even if they were watching him, which they shouldn't, since they aren't smart- that is to say that there isn't a separate strain of infection that allows a number of them (Like the leader) to maintain their ingenuity.
I mean hell, even if I watched Neville set up a trap the way he did, I probably wouldn't be able to figure it out and repeat the necessary steps to have a successful trap. It just isn't possible with these guys based on what we got from the movie.
And in the end, I really don't think that a small colony in the middle of nowhere surrounded by high walls will really be a safeguard against these guys. I mean, if they were able to set up a trap against Neville, they will be able to scale those walls with ease, especially since they are able to climb buildings, Spiderman style. It should've been in a cave or something. With alot of light. Or on an island. Something better.
I don't know how the book is but I really did't feel much from this movie aside from Sam's death (Oh crap- spoiler!). It was standard in my books.
I give I Am Legend an average score of 3 out of 5.
My opinion on it hasn't changed. While this falls into the 'apocalyptic' genre of movies when the entire world is destroyed/infected/screwed, it has an individual feel unlike other movies that I've seen. However, it also feels too much like say.. Resident Evil with the whole mutation/zombie effect.
I liked the beginning. I liked how you didn't encounter the 'Darkseekers' till almost 30 minutes in. I really liked Samantha the dog. In my highly professional opinion, she should get the best actress award.
Will Smith played an excellent role as the overzealous Dr. Neville who refused to leave ground zero until he found a cure. My biggest gripe comes from the Darkseekers though. They don't make much sense. So lets talk about them.
They can smell blood from miles away.- They have lost all human instinct.
- They have incredible strength/speed.
- They can be hurt by light.
- They control the infected dogs.
- They communicate through roars.
- They adapt (Trapping Neville?)
- They have a leader. (Boggle)
There are plenty of questions still as well. What do they eat? Each other? If thats the case, as was hinted, they should not have a leader. There would be no way to control them, not even through brute strength, since they all have incredible attributes.
And why do they still have clothes? Obviously, it was required for the given movie rating, but this is a noteworthy nitpick in my books.
If they lost their abilities to be human in all ways, they should not be smart enough to move 'Fred' the dummy or even set a trap up the way Neville did. Even if they were watching him, which they shouldn't, since they aren't smart- that is to say that there isn't a separate strain of infection that allows a number of them (Like the leader) to maintain their ingenuity.
I mean hell, even if I watched Neville set up a trap the way he did, I probably wouldn't be able to figure it out and repeat the necessary steps to have a successful trap. It just isn't possible with these guys based on what we got from the movie.
And in the end, I really don't think that a small colony in the middle of nowhere surrounded by high walls will really be a safeguard against these guys. I mean, if they were able to set up a trap against Neville, they will be able to scale those walls with ease, especially since they are able to climb buildings, Spiderman style. It should've been in a cave or something. With alot of light. Or on an island. Something better.
I don't know how the book is but I really did't feel much from this movie aside from Sam's death (Oh crap- spoiler!). It was standard in my books.
I give I Am Legend an average score of 3 out of 5.
16 March 2008
Icewind Dale II
So I finally beat this game, a sequel to the amazing, exciting, and addictive Icewind Dale. The original had an awesome storyline, great music, alot of ingenuity and was very similar to Baldur's Gate. In fact, the engine was the same and everything. I played it from start to finish without much frustration. It was that good.
Then came the sequel. I never heard too many reviews about it but I figured that I'd have to at least try it. The first thing I remember doing was reading the back of the box/CD whatever and seeing "A dark horde of evil creatures has attacked the Ten-Towns once again. Brave heroes must come save Icewind Dale!" or something along those lines. I was thinking... "Same plot as Icewind Dale 1? I hope theres some sort of twist."
At first, the game kept crashing on me and it took me forever to finally get it to work. Not a game specific problem- it was probably related to Vista. One thing that really disappointed me, was that the music would stop playing shortly after I'd start making my characters. For anyone thats ever played Baldur's Gate or Icewind Dale series, you should know that the character creation would at least take up to an hour if you really want to get into it. Well, the music stopped playing before one minute was through. That seemed very cheap for me.
Aside from that, the character creation was very different and was most likely the pre-cursor to Neverwinter Nights type since new spells, abilities, and most importantly- feats were introduced. There was alot of variety when it came to classes and abilities- that was good.
When I began the game, I realized that nearly half the screen was taken up by my interface. Unlike the past Black Isle games, this seemed too constipated for me, seeing that there was plenty of useless stuff on the interface that was unnecessary.
Anyways, it seemed interesting as things went along but for a game that was made in 2002 or something, taking the Icewind Dale engine and re-using it seemed cheap to me.
I'll skip through the storyline- wait. Storyline. Oh right, this game hardly even had a storyline. You go from one town, fighting creatures to outside the town fighting creatures to another place fighting creatures till the very end. It was very bland, this storyline. There wasn't anything exciting or new. No twists whatsoever. A re-used idea with a re-used engine with re-used music doesn't make for a great game.
Some of the events in the game were extremely frustrating too. The designers apparently enjoy stuffing zones full of monsters, some hard and some easy. Sure, I had plenty of AoE spells but even then- is it really necessary to just clutter the screen full of enemies and see if you can kill em all? The dialogue in the game was very limited. Hell, the zones themselves were boring. Unlike Baldur's Gate and Icewind Dale where you could enter nearly every single house, nearly all the buildings in Icewind Dale II were closed off aside from the important ones.
Were the designers lazy or something? I mean, sure they followed the plot events from the first came and brought a few memories back but anyone could do that. This is just ridiculous for a sequel.
There was hardly any music in the game itself aside from climactic battle music- which usually ended quickly due to dumping a ton of Fireballs or some other form of AoE on the enemy. The designers got smart. They made a limit to how many monsters I could summon. That was how I beat Baldur's Gate I, I remember. The entire room was filled with monsters. Here though, I could only summon 5 at a time and throughout the game, they are useless except when I need cannon fodder.
The cinematics were horrible. The girl telling the story is boring and is irrelevant to the entire plot. There was no CG except for poorly made pictures depicted from a book. I just wasn't impressed whatsoever.
The most annoying part for me was the boss battles. I absolutely hate battles where bosses are immune to all your magic attacks. I mean.. if thats the case, what is the point to my spells? I hate it when I cast magic missile on the boss and all I see on my screen is "IMMUNE IMMUNE IMMUNE." Then my mage, cleric, and whoever else becomes pretty much useless except for summoning creatures who are even more useless and simply provide cover for my melee units who are in the middle, trying desperately to hit the enemy without getting paralyzed, mind controlled, or held in place (WHICH HAPPENS ALOT). Its absolutely annoying.
The last fight was not exciting whatsoever. I fight two cambions (Half demons) who are immune to all my magic. Their minions are easy to take out but it seems not of my weapons affect them. My bard/thief is absolutely useless because arrows don't seem to affect them so thats another man thats just standing there doing nothing. My melee guys take too much damage and I don't want to risk them getting stunned, so I have to constantly summon in useless creatures to take the threat attacks while my main guys are running in and out, trying to score hits.
And when I finally beat them, I don't even kill them. A spell that is surrounding the zone that I'm in, finally activates and kills them. Or banishes them. I don't know. Either way, I didn't have the satisfaction of finishing them off. No, the designers couldn't even get that right.
And then the game ends with a crappy climactic scene that is no better then the cinematics in between the game's chapters.
Oh, and I had a ton of gold that I couldn't spend. I hate when that happens.
Theres a "hard" mode on the game called Heart of Fury, where I can import my characters and start the game over with monsters being on par to my characters but I won't even bother with that. I didn't think I could be this disappointed with a game from Black Isle.
Overall, I give it a 2 out of 5 rating: Poor. Its a shame since the Baldur's Gate series and the original Icewind Dale were pretty much 4s and 5s in my book.
Then came the sequel. I never heard too many reviews about it but I figured that I'd have to at least try it. The first thing I remember doing was reading the back of the box/CD whatever and seeing "A dark horde of evil creatures has attacked the Ten-Towns once again. Brave heroes must come save Icewind Dale!" or something along those lines. I was thinking... "Same plot as Icewind Dale 1? I hope theres some sort of twist."
At first, the game kept crashing on me and it took me forever to finally get it to work. Not a game specific problem- it was probably related to Vista. One thing that really disappointed me, was that the music would stop playing shortly after I'd start making my characters. For anyone thats ever played Baldur's Gate or Icewind Dale series, you should know that the character creation would at least take up to an hour if you really want to get into it. Well, the music stopped playing before one minute was through. That seemed very cheap for me.
Aside from that, the character creation was very different and was most likely the pre-cursor to Neverwinter Nights type since new spells, abilities, and most importantly- feats were introduced. There was alot of variety when it came to classes and abilities- that was good.
When I began the game, I realized that nearly half the screen was taken up by my interface. Unlike the past Black Isle games, this seemed too constipated for me, seeing that there was plenty of useless stuff on the interface that was unnecessary.
Anyways, it seemed interesting as things went along but for a game that was made in 2002 or something, taking the Icewind Dale engine and re-using it seemed cheap to me.
I'll skip through the storyline- wait. Storyline. Oh right, this game hardly even had a storyline. You go from one town, fighting creatures to outside the town fighting creatures to another place fighting creatures till the very end. It was very bland, this storyline. There wasn't anything exciting or new. No twists whatsoever. A re-used idea with a re-used engine with re-used music doesn't make for a great game.
Some of the events in the game were extremely frustrating too. The designers apparently enjoy stuffing zones full of monsters, some hard and some easy. Sure, I had plenty of AoE spells but even then- is it really necessary to just clutter the screen full of enemies and see if you can kill em all? The dialogue in the game was very limited. Hell, the zones themselves were boring. Unlike Baldur's Gate and Icewind Dale where you could enter nearly every single house, nearly all the buildings in Icewind Dale II were closed off aside from the important ones.
Were the designers lazy or something? I mean, sure they followed the plot events from the first came and brought a few memories back but anyone could do that. This is just ridiculous for a sequel.
There was hardly any music in the game itself aside from climactic battle music- which usually ended quickly due to dumping a ton of Fireballs or some other form of AoE on the enemy. The designers got smart. They made a limit to how many monsters I could summon. That was how I beat Baldur's Gate I, I remember. The entire room was filled with monsters. Here though, I could only summon 5 at a time and throughout the game, they are useless except when I need cannon fodder.
The cinematics were horrible. The girl telling the story is boring and is irrelevant to the entire plot. There was no CG except for poorly made pictures depicted from a book. I just wasn't impressed whatsoever.
The most annoying part for me was the boss battles. I absolutely hate battles where bosses are immune to all your magic attacks. I mean.. if thats the case, what is the point to my spells? I hate it when I cast magic missile on the boss and all I see on my screen is "IMMUNE IMMUNE IMMUNE." Then my mage, cleric, and whoever else becomes pretty much useless except for summoning creatures who are even more useless and simply provide cover for my melee units who are in the middle, trying desperately to hit the enemy without getting paralyzed, mind controlled, or held in place (WHICH HAPPENS ALOT). Its absolutely annoying.
The last fight was not exciting whatsoever. I fight two cambions (Half demons) who are immune to all my magic. Their minions are easy to take out but it seems not of my weapons affect them. My bard/thief is absolutely useless because arrows don't seem to affect them so thats another man thats just standing there doing nothing. My melee guys take too much damage and I don't want to risk them getting stunned, so I have to constantly summon in useless creatures to take the threat attacks while my main guys are running in and out, trying to score hits.
And when I finally beat them, I don't even kill them. A spell that is surrounding the zone that I'm in, finally activates and kills them. Or banishes them. I don't know. Either way, I didn't have the satisfaction of finishing them off. No, the designers couldn't even get that right.
And then the game ends with a crappy climactic scene that is no better then the cinematics in between the game's chapters.
Oh, and I had a ton of gold that I couldn't spend. I hate when that happens.
Theres a "hard" mode on the game called Heart of Fury, where I can import my characters and start the game over with monsters being on par to my characters but I won't even bother with that. I didn't think I could be this disappointed with a game from Black Isle.
Overall, I give it a 2 out of 5 rating: Poor. Its a shame since the Baldur's Gate series and the original Icewind Dale were pretty much 4s and 5s in my book.
02 March 2008
Barack Obama
So I want to briefly talk about this guy and this controversial running for presidential candidacy.
I first heard of him when he was simply a Senator and the presidential race was just starting. There was alot of news about him and his speeches, changes, and plans as Senator. The first time I heard him talk, I immediately got hooked. His charisma was simply beyond any other politician's. At that point, I got more interested in politics. I started looking into him a bit more and finding out who he was and what he did.
So I read a bit more about him and listened to a few more speeches. And then I thought, "This man should seriously run for president."
Hillary was already a democratic runner as was McCain, Huckabee, Paul, and the other folks. But Obama wasn't yet. And I knew at that point that he could do something big for not just the country, but the world itself.
As the runners started promoting their campaigns and getting donations, Obama was still off the hook when it came for presidency. I constantly checked his site, pondering if he would run or not.
And then, all of a sudden, Barack Obama decided to run for presidency as a democrat. I rejoiced.
The last time I rejoiced this much inside was when EA announced that Ultima X was cancelled but thats a different story. I was happy. This man was running for president. And against Hillary, at that.
In regards to Hillary, I just don't like her. I don't trust her. Her top priority is health care. Universal health care anyways. What else? Sure, she is against the war but she wasn't at first, unlike Obama who never changed his view on the war.
She has her agendas I think. She isn't charismatic. She pulls dirty tricks along with Bill, one big example being that fear mongering photo of Obama in a Somali suit that slightly looks as if he is some Arab.
Thats just ridiculous and dirty on her part. Its an act of desperation. Along with Obama's middle name being Hussein and the false allegations that he once swore on the Koran and that he attended some Islamic school when he was a kid is simply confounding. Has our fear gotten this horrendous, that we are to destroy images of other cultures with thoughts of prejudicial hate and oppression?
I don't want Hillary as president, especially while I'm in the military. McCain, I wouldn't mind but my mind is set on Obama. He caught my eye as he did with millions of others.
I think he can change things around for the country and the world itself. Who cares about color or the fact that he did drugs when he was young? Its time for a change. Obama is the right choice in my opinion.
I first heard of him when he was simply a Senator and the presidential race was just starting. There was alot of news about him and his speeches, changes, and plans as Senator. The first time I heard him talk, I immediately got hooked. His charisma was simply beyond any other politician's. At that point, I got more interested in politics. I started looking into him a bit more and finding out who he was and what he did.
So I read a bit more about him and listened to a few more speeches. And then I thought, "This man should seriously run for president."
Hillary was already a democratic runner as was McCain, Huckabee, Paul, and the other folks. But Obama wasn't yet. And I knew at that point that he could do something big for not just the country, but the world itself.
As the runners started promoting their campaigns and getting donations, Obama was still off the hook when it came for presidency. I constantly checked his site, pondering if he would run or not.
And then, all of a sudden, Barack Obama decided to run for presidency as a democrat. I rejoiced.
The last time I rejoiced this much inside was when EA announced that Ultima X was cancelled but thats a different story. I was happy. This man was running for president. And against Hillary, at that.
In regards to Hillary, I just don't like her. I don't trust her. Her top priority is health care. Universal health care anyways. What else? Sure, she is against the war but she wasn't at first, unlike Obama who never changed his view on the war.
She has her agendas I think. She isn't charismatic. She pulls dirty tricks along with Bill, one big example being that fear mongering photo of Obama in a Somali suit that slightly looks as if he is some Arab.
I don't want Hillary as president, especially while I'm in the military. McCain, I wouldn't mind but my mind is set on Obama. He caught my eye as he did with millions of others.
I think he can change things around for the country and the world itself. Who cares about color or the fact that he did drugs when he was young? Its time for a change. Obama is the right choice in my opinion.
22 February 2008
A Conundrum of Conceptuous Continuity
Right so, ‘conceptuous’ isn’t an actual word but to hell with rules. I’m feeling strangely relaxed today. Nevermind the 5 AM GI Party or standing outside in the rain- I’m feeling pretty good about myself today. I’m a bit tired sure, but I feel less strained. I don’t think it has to do with class but simply something inside me. I’d like to think that getting a massage last night opened up my mind somehow but it may just be more then that.
After I bought the tea stuff from that one store last night, I actually debated on going back and getting a tarot reading. I’ve never believed in that stuff and I doubt I do now but it’s a curious work, these tellers do and I’d like to believe theres good things ahead.
So I’ve actually thought of doing some more writing recently. I’ve had some good ideas emerge for Jacob’s Ladder- just some basic concepts. I know I should try focusing on simply one story at a time but that’s not me. I need to expand. I was particularly pleased about Dark Partings, even though I realize its nowhere near its finalized version. I know I can do better. And someday I will. I just have to keep going until I reach the point of satisfaction that I want for that story.
Man, I’ve been playing less Warcraft recently. Good thing? Maybe. I’ve been raiding on the main days but I actually decided to miss a raiding day and go out to town for once. I know, it’s a total “woah” moment. I don’t really regret it either. The days I do play, I don’t stay on for long unless something is up. People tend to keep to themselves and I don’t find much fun in the game anymore outside of guild matters.
Am I slowly slipping away from that environment? I don’t know. A part of me wants to. I’ve made some good friends and I’ve been coming back to Cenarion Circle and even starting leveling a paladin, simply for fun, boredom, and to hang out with friends. Maybe roleplay.
I’ve always wanted to write about why I left Cenarion Circle and express my greatest feats and experiences on that server. I still feel as if I left behind a legacy and while I tend to find it hard to believe, I’m not forgotten. People still talk about me, whether as in the person or the character. Even though I don’t like to admit it, I know I made some people unhappy but that’s the thing. I couldn’t appease everyone. It was all about them and never about me. And when I finally decided to be selfish for once, everything collapsed because apparently relying on one person was how a guild should’ve been. I disagree.
So I suppose my next post will be about my experiences in Warcraft. As geeky as it can be, it was quite the adventure with much good (and bad) things worth remembering.
Oh right. So I went to speak SSGT Boles about reclassing and got the sheet to list my top 6 jobs. Right now, this is what I have picked:
1- Network Intelligence Analysis
2- Aerial Gunner
3- Communications-Computer Systems Operations
4- Command Post
5- Imagery Analysis
6- Mental Health Service
A good site for job descriptions can be found at: www.usmilitary.about.com
I should be out of class in about a week or so. How long till my next station? I don't know. I still feel a bit disappointed in all of this but I also feel slightly excited for the opportunity to do something that I know I have alot more interest in. We shall see, eh?
After I bought the tea stuff from that one store last night, I actually debated on going back and getting a tarot reading. I’ve never believed in that stuff and I doubt I do now but it’s a curious work, these tellers do and I’d like to believe theres good things ahead.
So I’ve actually thought of doing some more writing recently. I’ve had some good ideas emerge for Jacob’s Ladder- just some basic concepts. I know I should try focusing on simply one story at a time but that’s not me. I need to expand. I was particularly pleased about Dark Partings, even though I realize its nowhere near its finalized version. I know I can do better. And someday I will. I just have to keep going until I reach the point of satisfaction that I want for that story.
Man, I’ve been playing less Warcraft recently. Good thing? Maybe. I’ve been raiding on the main days but I actually decided to miss a raiding day and go out to town for once. I know, it’s a total “woah” moment. I don’t really regret it either. The days I do play, I don’t stay on for long unless something is up. People tend to keep to themselves and I don’t find much fun in the game anymore outside of guild matters.
Am I slowly slipping away from that environment? I don’t know. A part of me wants to. I’ve made some good friends and I’ve been coming back to Cenarion Circle and even starting leveling a paladin, simply for fun, boredom, and to hang out with friends. Maybe roleplay.
I’ve always wanted to write about why I left Cenarion Circle and express my greatest feats and experiences on that server. I still feel as if I left behind a legacy and while I tend to find it hard to believe, I’m not forgotten. People still talk about me, whether as in the person or the character. Even though I don’t like to admit it, I know I made some people unhappy but that’s the thing. I couldn’t appease everyone. It was all about them and never about me. And when I finally decided to be selfish for once, everything collapsed because apparently relying on one person was how a guild should’ve been. I disagree.
So I suppose my next post will be about my experiences in Warcraft. As geeky as it can be, it was quite the adventure with much good (and bad) things worth remembering.
Oh right. So I went to speak SSGT Boles about reclassing and got the sheet to list my top 6 jobs. Right now, this is what I have picked:
1- Network Intelligence Analysis
2- Aerial Gunner
3- Communications-Computer Systems Operations
4- Command Post
5- Imagery Analysis
6- Mental Health Service
A good site for job descriptions can be found at: www.usmilitary.about.com
I should be out of class in about a week or so. How long till my next station? I don't know. I still feel a bit disappointed in all of this but I also feel slightly excited for the opportunity to do something that I know I have alot more interest in. We shall see, eh?
11 February 2008
Cake, Joy, and the Stomach Ache After.
As a kid, I used to have a lot of fun by myself. I would leave the house right after school and hop on the bike, riding around town, going to the park, running in the forests or the nearby pipe factory. And even though I lived within the limits of reality, I was never happy with just that. I'd let imagination take hold of me.
I would become the commander of a powerful rebel army, fighting against the suppressing forces led by my darker brother. I would have a vast armory of weapons, ranging from wooden staves to the rare iron, powerful- and heavier- swords that could cut through a tree monster's arm with little effort.
I'd set up bases, hide caches of weapons, and live a life in this forest until the sun went down. I'd come home dirty, tired and ready for the next day.
And every day, I would wait for that portal to appear in the circle of stones that I constructed in the very back of the forest. Yes, the Ultima game series really did influence me to the point where I believed in other worlds to the point where I was ready to abandon all in order to leap through any moongate, not caring what lay on the other side.
I still feel that kid inside me, lying dormant- waiting for the day when I can go out into the wilds again and enjoy myself. But life isn't like that anymore. Work, duties, and what little free time I have- I use inside the confines of my room or in the midst of company. Theres no more time for imaginary war. The commander has retired his status indefinitely. Its time to move on to bigger things.
And so I've moved on, and continue moving forward on the path that I cobble as I slowly move from stone to stone. Some stones don't fit and I have to throw them away. Others would fit perfectly but I manage to miss them, intentionally or not. So I've holes in my road that I haven't filled. And now I think I've stopped filling in an entire section of the road, hopping over it for reasons unfortunate.
I signed my disenrollement papers for class today. I managed to go through the first semester before withdrawing from the Pashto department. It isn't something I can handle- waking up each morning with a dreadful fatigue that needs to be satisfied through positive thinking and energy drinks.
I don't like it- I'm not comfortable. I'm not happy, nor can I realistically think with positive candor. This isn't what I wanted. I'm to blame for failing to unleash personal potential, but what potential am I willing to release when my whole entire aspiration for joining the Air Force died away when I got a language I didn't want? I joined for one reason alone and felt spit on.
I have no heart for this language. I haven't given up but I refuse to accept the language. I don't care about the extra money. I don't care about the position it would give me. It is not for me. Am I not pushing myself hard enough? Am I pushing at all? Am I to blame for my apathy?
As days go by, I waste my evenings and weekends alone, no interest whatsoever in seeing the outside world. My interests fade away as does my own creativity due to the sacrifice I've been forced to make in class. And yet as I sign those papers, my sense of dread is suddenly lifted and a feeling of slight relief appears in place. I feel guilty and defeated yes, but I also feel lighter.
Where will I go next? Will I get re-classed? Will I get another job? I don't know- and that is what terrifies me. Not the unknown, but the change itself.
I'm still waiting for that portal to appear, ready for me to leap through it without question- into the unknown.
I would become the commander of a powerful rebel army, fighting against the suppressing forces led by my darker brother. I would have a vast armory of weapons, ranging from wooden staves to the rare iron, powerful- and heavier- swords that could cut through a tree monster's arm with little effort.
I'd set up bases, hide caches of weapons, and live a life in this forest until the sun went down. I'd come home dirty, tired and ready for the next day.
And every day, I would wait for that portal to appear in the circle of stones that I constructed in the very back of the forest. Yes, the Ultima game series really did influence me to the point where I believed in other worlds to the point where I was ready to abandon all in order to leap through any moongate, not caring what lay on the other side.
I still feel that kid inside me, lying dormant- waiting for the day when I can go out into the wilds again and enjoy myself. But life isn't like that anymore. Work, duties, and what little free time I have- I use inside the confines of my room or in the midst of company. Theres no more time for imaginary war. The commander has retired his status indefinitely. Its time to move on to bigger things.
And so I've moved on, and continue moving forward on the path that I cobble as I slowly move from stone to stone. Some stones don't fit and I have to throw them away. Others would fit perfectly but I manage to miss them, intentionally or not. So I've holes in my road that I haven't filled. And now I think I've stopped filling in an entire section of the road, hopping over it for reasons unfortunate.
I signed my disenrollement papers for class today. I managed to go through the first semester before withdrawing from the Pashto department. It isn't something I can handle- waking up each morning with a dreadful fatigue that needs to be satisfied through positive thinking and energy drinks.
I don't like it- I'm not comfortable. I'm not happy, nor can I realistically think with positive candor. This isn't what I wanted. I'm to blame for failing to unleash personal potential, but what potential am I willing to release when my whole entire aspiration for joining the Air Force died away when I got a language I didn't want? I joined for one reason alone and felt spit on.
I have no heart for this language. I haven't given up but I refuse to accept the language. I don't care about the extra money. I don't care about the position it would give me. It is not for me. Am I not pushing myself hard enough? Am I pushing at all? Am I to blame for my apathy?
As days go by, I waste my evenings and weekends alone, no interest whatsoever in seeing the outside world. My interests fade away as does my own creativity due to the sacrifice I've been forced to make in class. And yet as I sign those papers, my sense of dread is suddenly lifted and a feeling of slight relief appears in place. I feel guilty and defeated yes, but I also feel lighter.
Where will I go next? Will I get re-classed? Will I get another job? I don't know- and that is what terrifies me. Not the unknown, but the change itself.
I'm still waiting for that portal to appear, ready for me to leap through it without question- into the unknown.
04 February 2008
Weekends - Come and Gone.
Days fly like the wind outside of class. Like burning embers above a flame, they are quick to fade away before the consuming fire.
So I'm told on Friday that we have a morning formation at 6 in full service uniforms. So that means I have to wake up at 5, take a shower, get dressed, and be out between the wings by 5:45 in the cold. It really wasn't that cold out but my feet were freezing. And for those that don't know what full service uniforms are, its our dress uniform- you know, the blues with the flight caps and all.
So yeah. The entire squadron had to come to this because four idiot airmen got UEDs and DUIs. Not only did they drive while drunk but they were going to get more beer and got into an accident on a one way street. I'll let you guess which way they were driving. The best part was- they were all underage. Can't wait to see the blogger about this one so I can see if they're kicked out or not. Oh yeah. Four other airmen were tested positive for drugs. Idiots.
After wasting two hours outside though, we were dismissed and I decided to join a bunch of other people for some breakfast. The eight of us went to Denny's. So I got a spicy chicken sandwich for breakfast. Not the best of things honestly.
After that, I tried to fix someone's computer but decided to take a nap after about an hour. So then I wasted half the day because I overslept my desired amount. After I woke up, I had a nasty headache which led my back to bed. So the entire day was wasted pointlessly.
And the next day was just like the last. Plenty of sleep and little stuff done. I couldn't even write or work on anything interesting. Hell, I couldn't even play WoW. The day was that piss poor for some reason. So the entire weekend flew by.
And now, its another week of class. Today's morning was horrible. I felt as if I didn't understand anything from the lessons- well thats because we didn't go over any of the vocabulary or whatnot. But lunch rolled along and I got a moments peace by myself before a few more classmates came in and ruined the blissful silence of the room. I got a small letter from Becca through Facebook which improved the mood. Hope all is well with her.
So I need to be honest. I don't like most of my classmates. There are nine of us in all. One Air Force officer, one Navy petty officer, a marine, and the rest of us are enlisted Air Force. Two of them, I like. One, I can tolerate. The other two, I just can't stand. Robertson is a great guy and extremely funny. Tyler acts grown up and like an adult. However Johnson and Friday are incredibly annoying. Friday is a complete scumbag who ironically is pretty smart but seems to have no moral value. Johnson just acts like some kid who belongs in middle school.
The rest are a good bunch. I can work with them with no problem, even if the petty officer gets a bit overzealous at times. But I can't handle working with Johnson or Friday. Johnson just acts retardedly stupid and Friday.. arg. I would just keep going with things to say about him but I'd rather not. Ever since Medina, I've had to put up with him and his attitude.
I'm not saying I'm not perfect but I respect people. He doesn't. He talks back to the petty officer, swears in front of the Major and doesn't bother ironing his uniform. He hasn't done anything to it in months. Hell, he doesn't even bother getting stripes on it, even though he was promoted at the same time I was.
And the worst part is, I sit next to him and constantly need to work with him. And I hate it because he understands the lessons more then I do so I constantly screw up and instead of helping, he usually resorts to berating me with insults. Still.. to hell with him. I hope he gets what he deserves. It will come soon enough.
So right now, lunch is done and I've three more hours of class before heading off to PT. Afterwords, I need to do something like write. I have to push myself. I can't waste away my life while I'm here. As hopeless as I sometimes feel when it comes to this language, I need to keep going or else I'll dig a pit so deep, I won't be able to climb out.
So I'm told on Friday that we have a morning formation at 6 in full service uniforms. So that means I have to wake up at 5, take a shower, get dressed, and be out between the wings by 5:45 in the cold. It really wasn't that cold out but my feet were freezing. And for those that don't know what full service uniforms are, its our dress uniform- you know, the blues with the flight caps and all.
So yeah. The entire squadron had to come to this because four idiot airmen got UEDs and DUIs. Not only did they drive while drunk but they were going to get more beer and got into an accident on a one way street. I'll let you guess which way they were driving. The best part was- they were all underage. Can't wait to see the blogger about this one so I can see if they're kicked out or not. Oh yeah. Four other airmen were tested positive for drugs. Idiots.
After wasting two hours outside though, we were dismissed and I decided to join a bunch of other people for some breakfast. The eight of us went to Denny's. So I got a spicy chicken sandwich for breakfast. Not the best of things honestly.
After that, I tried to fix someone's computer but decided to take a nap after about an hour. So then I wasted half the day because I overslept my desired amount. After I woke up, I had a nasty headache which led my back to bed. So the entire day was wasted pointlessly.
And the next day was just like the last. Plenty of sleep and little stuff done. I couldn't even write or work on anything interesting. Hell, I couldn't even play WoW. The day was that piss poor for some reason. So the entire weekend flew by.
And now, its another week of class. Today's morning was horrible. I felt as if I didn't understand anything from the lessons- well thats because we didn't go over any of the vocabulary or whatnot. But lunch rolled along and I got a moments peace by myself before a few more classmates came in and ruined the blissful silence of the room. I got a small letter from Becca through Facebook which improved the mood. Hope all is well with her.
So I need to be honest. I don't like most of my classmates. There are nine of us in all. One Air Force officer, one Navy petty officer, a marine, and the rest of us are enlisted Air Force. Two of them, I like. One, I can tolerate. The other two, I just can't stand. Robertson is a great guy and extremely funny. Tyler acts grown up and like an adult. However Johnson and Friday are incredibly annoying. Friday is a complete scumbag who ironically is pretty smart but seems to have no moral value. Johnson just acts like some kid who belongs in middle school.
The rest are a good bunch. I can work with them with no problem, even if the petty officer gets a bit overzealous at times. But I can't handle working with Johnson or Friday. Johnson just acts retardedly stupid and Friday.. arg. I would just keep going with things to say about him but I'd rather not. Ever since Medina, I've had to put up with him and his attitude.
I'm not saying I'm not perfect but I respect people. He doesn't. He talks back to the petty officer, swears in front of the Major and doesn't bother ironing his uniform. He hasn't done anything to it in months. Hell, he doesn't even bother getting stripes on it, even though he was promoted at the same time I was.
And the worst part is, I sit next to him and constantly need to work with him. And I hate it because he understands the lessons more then I do so I constantly screw up and instead of helping, he usually resorts to berating me with insults. Still.. to hell with him. I hope he gets what he deserves. It will come soon enough.
So right now, lunch is done and I've three more hours of class before heading off to PT. Afterwords, I need to do something like write. I have to push myself. I can't waste away my life while I'm here. As hopeless as I sometimes feel when it comes to this language, I need to keep going or else I'll dig a pit so deep, I won't be able to climb out.
29 January 2008
Exordium
Well well. What to say, what to say. I suppose an introduction is an order. Besides stating the fact that this is the first blog post that I am writing with the false promises of keeping in touch with myself, I suppose I need to ask myself why I have the compelling need to express my thoughts here and not on paper.
To be simply blunt, I prefer the technological terrors of today instead of the primordial weapons of yesterday. Welcome to the future, where minds and bodies are slaves to the machines of humanity's making.
In all honestly, I prefer typing then writing and I can easily access this from any computer in addition to the fact that people like you can critize me for my thoughts with silly little comments.
So right. I'm frusterated with things. Alot of things. Lets over dramatisize things and say that my entire life is horrible. I'm my own bane of existance, persay with nothing but a nightmare for a life with a dark road ahead of me.
Now that thats out of the way, I'd like to really mention why I decided to call this blog, 'On My Mind'. Not only am I writing about whats on my mind but its lyrics to an amazing song by Ferry Corsten with the same title. The lyrics go:
Today is on my mind.
We will collide...
Today is on my mind.
I take my time...
Come across and feel.
Just feel...
Today is on my mind.
It's on my mind...
And I know that I'm alone...
And I know where I belong...
I'd put up a link to the song if I could but I can't seem to find a copy. Maybe youtube has one, who knows. In any case, this is me and this is whats on my mind. So without further ado, let the adventure begin.
To be simply blunt, I prefer the technological terrors of today instead of the primordial weapons of yesterday. Welcome to the future, where minds and bodies are slaves to the machines of humanity's making.
In all honestly, I prefer typing then writing and I can easily access this from any computer in addition to the fact that people like you can critize me for my thoughts with silly little comments.
So right. I'm frusterated with things. Alot of things. Lets over dramatisize things and say that my entire life is horrible. I'm my own bane of existance, persay with nothing but a nightmare for a life with a dark road ahead of me.
Now that thats out of the way, I'd like to really mention why I decided to call this blog, 'On My Mind'. Not only am I writing about whats on my mind but its lyrics to an amazing song by Ferry Corsten with the same title. The lyrics go:
Today is on my mind.
We will collide...
Today is on my mind.
I take my time...
Come across and feel.
Just feel...
Today is on my mind.
It's on my mind...
And I know that I'm alone...
And I know where I belong...
I'd put up a link to the song if I could but I can't seem to find a copy. Maybe youtube has one, who knows. In any case, this is me and this is whats on my mind. So without further ado, let the adventure begin.
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