A Rant About Warcraft

I haven't posted much here lately which is a bit depressing seeing how I can't find the time to update this. So since I decided to post, lets talk about the most recent of things. The most exciting thing in my little conserved life has been the World of Warcraft expansion. Honestly, it looks amazing. The environment is astounding.

I don't have the Beta but I've played an Alpha Sandbox and explored quite a bit. The music is great, the detail to new content is fabulous- its a real change from Burning Crusade. I'd like to play again since I've kind of quit recently due to tremendous ordeals as well as the lack of interest to farm gold.

Which brings me to my next point. I did transfer servers almost a month ago, I suppose. I finally moved from Farstriders to Argent Dawn, without much research at all. I was told that it would have good RP and since everyone else was going there, I thought I'd get an early start. Thats when things got uncomfortable.

I didn't receive much detail in regards to who was coming along or what was happening. I spent hours researching interesting names for the guild and simply waited for everyone else. I soon realized that for a large server, there was hardly any RP and that I went from being the best paladin on the server to simply nothing- not even second rate. Quite humbling, actually.

I forgot to mention that I was just a tool in Heaven and Earth. I suppose I thought too highly of myself when I thought I was a key raider- attending every raid and giving up plenty of time only to be ignored when I announced my leaving. Hell, only one officer even spoke to me about it and when I left, there was pretty much no reaction. A year is a long time but apparently, I didn't fit into any of the cliches in the guild so nobody really cared, with the exception of a few people.

Now, when the charter was finally made, I was the first to sign it. I blindly agreed on everything- even when I thought the basis for the guild was stupid. So the guild name became Omerta, which reminded me of the guild Omerta back on Cenarion Circle (Won't get into that.)

So all my work into finding a decent name went to hell since some generic boring name with no history or value was decided on instead. For ranks, the old PvP titles were used. I personally found those titles to simply suck so that was another demerit on my list. And to top it all off, I log in one day to find myself a 'Sergeant' while there are a bunch of officers who I don't even know.

That doesn't cut it for me. I know its a game but I didn't transfer for these reasons. I transferred because I didn't want to be a tool anymore. I wanted to roleplay and have fun. I wanted to hang out with Becca since the story between our characters was expanding.

Instead, I was lied to and used only to be shoved away. Once again, I am simply in the shadows of 'greater' men. I don't want this. I want to enjoy myself.

I continue to sacrifice for the people I like and in return, I feel devalued, pushed away, and simply betrayed. Maybe its time to finally let go.

And as I think that thought, my mind drifts to Azurio and I realize I'm just like him because letting go is almost next to impossible when you have almost nothing already. I let go now, and I won't know anyone anymore. I won't have anything left.

Its a sad inner life I live when it comes to the game. But when I only have about 4-5 hours of freetime a day with the exception of weekends, its really the only thing I can enjoy- and I'd really like to have fun again.